I glance back at the ring. I take her in. I take her all in. And instead of seeing her imperfections as flaws, I see experiences and depth. Her gold frame nestled perfectly into the nook of my furry finger, I feel overwhelmed by a sense of accomplishment for who I have become this year. Not what I have done. Not what I have, but WHO. I. AM. My 20 year old self would be horrified by 34 year old Megan Mensink. The unflattering pictures, exposing my flaws, and sharing my emotions. To be honest, I am also a little horrified by myself. But it’s real, and real can be horrifying.
This ring represents growth, evolution, and acceptance. Every time I look at it, I am reminded of my journey, my growth, and my strength. It takes strength to show vulnerability, more than to show perfection. And this is not to say I feel comfortable with myself all the time and enjoy seeing myself look terrible. The truth is, I often wish my kids would accidentally hit me in the teeth with a mini stick so I can get a set of veneers. But this is who I am, this is what I've got to work with, and a new set of pearly whites isn’t going to change that.
I glance back at my ring and decide the index finger isn’t her rightful home. I kindly placed her on the ring finger of my right hand, because she represents the most important relationship in my life - the one I have with myself. A relationship that is challenging, tumultuous, and occasionally verbally abusive, but one that is not going away. This ring, represents a vow to myself. My commitment to be kinder, to be more accepting, and to love myself unconditionally. It is a process and I am learning to be comfortable with the fluidity, the constant pendulum of feelings towards myself and my body. Accepting that how I feel today, is not necessarily how I will feel tomorrow and I am ok with that.